CPI Expands Operations in South America

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Xmas Story

It must be wonderful. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Soothe us with sweet lies. That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!

  • Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped.
  • They’re like sex, except I’m having them!
  • Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!

Anthology of Interest I

Hey, whatcha watching? They’re like sex, except I’m having them! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

Teenage Mutant Leela’s Hurdles

Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.

  1. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!
  2. Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?
The Farnsworth Parabox

Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. It must be wonderful.